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Discussion Questions:

1. The Dearly Beloved opens with the scene of James grieving Charles’s death. In what ways does grief frame this novel? How do each of the characters respond to the feelings of abandonment that accompany grief? In whom or what do they choose to put their faith after loss? In whom or what do you put your faith in difficult times?

2. In the prologue, Nan says that “she was soft, and Lily was straight. She wavered; Lily was plumb” (2). Describe Nan and Lily. Do you agree with Nan that she and Lily are opposites? If so, how do they overcome that to become the kind of friends Lily refers to as “her stitches, her scaffold, her ballast, her home” (338).

3. Early in the novel, Charles’s father tells his son that “Obligations are the fuel of life, Charles. Reputation is their reward” (5). Do you agree? To what do each of the four characters obligate themselves, and what reputation do they receive in return? What are the obligations in your life, and what do you gain by fulfilling them?

4. When Charles and Lily first meet in the library, Charles notices that she looks “entirely sad” (9). And after their first fight, he acknowledges that he “could not bear the fact that she would always be sad” (102). What does Charles hope for Lily, and how does it feel for him to know he can’t heal her? Why do you think he married her, knowing he could never make her happy?

5. James is anxious about the difference between his upbringing and Nan’s, describing it as a chasm that loomed “dark and large” (87). What are the geographic, religious, and class differences in their upbringings? Why do they feel unbridgeable to James?

6. Love seems to come easily to Nan and Charles. Why? Conversely, James and Lily are wary of love: James has a “look of distrust… the look people had when they needed to be treated with dignity after so much of life had been unfair” (60) and Lily believes that “the prerequisite for love was trust; and Lily did not trust anything” (81). Why do James and Lily struggle to trust, and therefore, love, their partners? How does love relate to trust? And how does trust relate to faith?

7. Nan and Charles come to very different conclusions about what they can accept regarding their partners’ faith. Nan realizes that “of all the things she thought she could give up for [James], she could not give up her faith in God” (61). What would Nan’s life have been like if James had decided not to be a minister? How does his decision to become a minister enrich her life and faith? Conversely, Charles decides that he doesn’t need Lily to believe in order to marry her— “I don’t need you to believe in God, I just need you to believe in me” (105). Does Lily’s rejection of Charles’s religion diminish or enlarge his life and faith?

8. After Nan helps Lily with her twins, she realizes that “every right action begets another; every extension of a hand forms a rope and then a ladder” (249). When have you seen this play out in your own life? Are there actions your book club could take to help your community like coordinating a book drive or volunteering at a library?

9. In the beginning of the book, Charles’s college professor Tom says that “only empathy allows us to see clearly. Only compassion brings lasting change” (14). How does this statement apply to the struggles Charles and James encounter while leading their church? What values are they trying to engender in their congregation? To what extent do they succeed?

10. After their first meeting, Nan says that Lily makes her feel “invisible” (169) and later says that just being in proximity to her makes her feel “brittle and resentful” (183). Is there anyone in your life who makes you feel this way? Lily’s reasoning is that she “knew that she could not give Nan one inch, not one conversation. Even one gesture of friendship would lead to the expectation of more….” (161). Do you feel that way about anyone in your life? Why?

11. Nan desperately wants to have a child—she calls it her “fondest dream” (215)—but suffers two miscarriages over the course of the novel. Lily doesn’t want to have children, but gives birth to twins. Why is Nan hesitant to seek treatment for her infertility? What does it mean to Nan to be a mother? What does it mean to Lily?

12. After Charles’s controversial sermon, Marcus says that “these people need a good disaster. They need to know what it means for life to be hard. And I’m not talking about death hard. I’m talking about suffering” (288). Will’s diagnosis brings hard suffering into the lives of the four main characters. Were you surprised by Charles, Lily, James, or Nan’s response to Will’s diagnosis? Could you relate to the suffering it produced in them? Did you agree or disagree with the courses of action they took in response to his condition?

13. Marcus and Annelise only appear toward the end of the book. What role do each of them play in the lives of the Barrett and MacNally families? How would the book be different without them?

14. In many wedding ceremonies, the pastor welcomes the attendees with the greeting “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today….” Toward the end of the novel, Nan notes that “they were, the four of them, married to each other” (287). In what ways are the various couples tied to each other? How do they learn to love each other? Overall, why do you think Wall chose this phrase as the title of her novel?
(Questions issued by the publisher.)

September – The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin
October – Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe
November – The Keepers of the House by Shirley Ann Grau.
December – Trust Exercise by Susan Choi
January – Meet Me at the Museum by Anne Youngson
February – The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
March – Days Without End by Sebastian Barry
April – The Rent Collector by Camron Wright
May – A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle
June – A Thousand Moons by Sebastian Barry
July – Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami
August – Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri
September – Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian
October – We Ride Upon Sticks by Quan Barry
November – The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen
December – Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
January – The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall

Discussion Questions:

1. A major theme running through The Liars’ Club is the difference between Mary Karr’s parents. “With Mother,” Karr writes, “I always felt on the edge of something new, something never before seen or read about or bought, something that would change us…. With Daddy and his friends, I always knew what would happen and that left me feeling a sort of dreamy safety.” Karr’s mother is artistic and glamorous, while her father is down-to-earth. How do these contrasts lay the foundation for the Karr’s family life? Did you empathize with one parent more than the other? Did your feelings change as the book went on and more was revealed about them?

2. Despite the horror that permeated Karr’s childhood, characteristics like humor, honesty, and courage pervade The Liars’ Club. Karr does not pass judgment on her family or tell us how she thought they should have behaved. Would you have liked to have known more about Karr’s feelings about the events that she recounts? In what instances? Or were you able to discern how she felt through her actions? What emotions did you experience while reading The Liars’ Club?

3. Karr is a character in her own book, as well as its author. On the page, she’s a tough, scrappy kid who also has a tremendous sensitivity and devotion to the people around her. As readers, we understand the interior joys and terrors that make her such a rich and vivid character. How do you think she seemed to the people around her? If her mother was to make a list of her strongest characteristics, what would they be? If her father made such a list, would it differ in any way?

4. Karr tells her story for the most part from the point of view of a child, and what a child sees and understands. How might the story – and Karr’s perceptions – change if she had told it from the point of view of an adult, with the benefit of everything she has come to understand about her upbringing and her family? What would be gained, and what would be lost?

5. The author’s mother, Charlie Marie, never fully realized her dreams of becoming an artist. The author, who as child began to write poetry, was able to realize her creative ambitions. What gave Karr the strength to pursue that ambition? Was it “sheer cussedness,” one of the traits that characterized her as a child? Do you think the sadness of her mother’s unfulfilled dreams somehow propelled her? Do you think it had anything to do with her relationship with her father?

6. How would you characterize Karr’s relationship with her sister, Lecia? Does it change as the book progresses?

7. After Karr’s grandmother dies she sings, “Ding dong the witch is dead.” Were you surprised that she was happy her grandmother passed away? What in the grandmother’s character was so oppressive? Do you think her grandmother contributed to her mother’s despair and alcoholism? How important a part did she play in Karr’s life?

8. In a recent interview Karr said that she had previously tried to write a novel based on her childhood experiences: “When I tried to write about my life in a novel, I discovered that I behaved better in fiction than I did in real life. The truth is that I found it easier to lie in a novel, and what I wanted most of all was to tell the truth.” What do you think of this statement? Karr’s father was famous for the tales he told during meetings of the Liars’ Club. At any point did you feel that the author was perhaps altering or stretching the truth?

9. In the introduction to this guide, Karr states that while on tour to promote The Liars’ Club people from all walks of life told her they identified with her story. Do you identify with the Karr family? Did this influence you while you were reading the book? Is it “the essential American story,” as one reviewer stated?